In the Throes of Pandemic Living in 2022
Currently, the realities of parenting include the fact that in our homes, we have individuals that are still ineligible for vaccination. So, how can we reduce these feelings of “pandemic fatigue” and overcome the weight of the last 2 years? There is a population of families, especially those with children who were ineligible for vaccination until early December 2021 and those of us that had children shortly prior to the pandemic (and were not vaccinated while pregnant because the pandemic wasn’t a thing, yet) and those kiddos are still ineligible for vaccination, the pandemic NEVER ENDED for us…I know that some people felt that as soon as they personally were vaccinated, the pandemic was OVER, whether this is really true or not isn’t for me to say, but what I can say is that for those of us with (young) children, the pandemic NEVER ENDED, it just continued to wane on…and on…and on…When the local government lifted mask mandates inside, we kept wearing them…When they re-opened establishment for indoor dining and entertainment, we continued to stay away. And, when society seemed to emerge and everything started to re-open, our family protocol essentially remained the same, as was, since March/April 2020. Yep, that’s right…no bars, no sporting events, no concerts, no movie theaters, just our four walls, school (when it was open), barely stepping foot into anyone else’s home(s), and the fresh air; until January 2022. A pretty wild existence, in my opinion.
Understanding Families and Their Child’s Learning
An educator in a professional learning environment quickly learns that taking care of the children also means taking care of their families. This is easier said than done however, because modern parents have identified that they are experiencing burnout, largely through working between 40 to 50 hours per week, if not more! So, how can we engage the children’s families when the last thing they need is to do more “work”?
Learning is a Process
Children have more advantages when it comes to development when their parents participate in the learning process at home. However, how can educators get parents (and guardians) excited and on board?
4 Ways to Involve Parents (and guardians) in the Learning Process at Home
1. Plan an Orientation
2. Communication
3. Drop Off & Pick Up Time
4. Look for Ways to Connect
Know Your “Audience”
What if it’s NOT the kids, then is it the adults!?
3 Common challenges when visiting family or family visits:
Inflexible mindset
Others are not familiar with your kiddos schedule or needs
“Competition” for time
The Key Takeaways
Don’t be judgmental. Don’t cop an attitude. Don’t get ruffled. Don’t even raise your voice. Share the facts, give the details, offer the choices. And, let it ride!
Oh, These Kids!
Your child is the same child today they were yesterday, 2 weeks ago, and even 2 months ago. If you’re finding challenges popping up, what’s the cause? A new routine? Some developmental hiccups? A change in expectations? Traveling? Any one of these can have an effect on a child’s progress, stability, emotional state/response, sleep habits, eating habits, etc. Instead of worrying, let’s FOCUS on how we pre-empt and respond to these kiddos; as YOU have the power to make a difference.
See Beyond Illusions
No one’s life is “perfect,” despite the image(s) they portray. We all experience challenges and struggles, perhaps, the obstacles we face are different, but emotionally, only you know the truth for yourself. Our children may see our struggle, they may feel the struggle, the shift and internalize their observations; as they recalibrate how they feel about a situation or how a situation makes them feel at a given time. We can teach them resilience.
Supporting Preschool Children with Behavioral Challenges
In recent years, the early childhood sector has shifted from focusing on childcare to family care. This is typically implemented in the following ways:
Early childhood educators are widening their scope of support. Supporting preschool children means supporting their families; suggesting social services for the entire family, sharing resources for proper housing, suggesting employment options, etc. The idea is that the more stable a child’s home life is in the early years, the easier it will be to put them on a path of a positive trajectory.
Educators and guardians are more closely working together to support the child holistically. It is no longer about one type of support in the classroom from the educator, and another type in the home from the guardians. Both parties are now working together to provide consistent early childhood education and care between school and home.
Problem Solving Mode
Change can be a rocky road, we all know that! How we navigate this rocky road can determine how long the rocky road will last. Know, there is light at the end of the tunnel, if you choose to see it! When change happens, how do you respond to it? Do you ask “what”-based questions? Or, do you launch into a different sort of mode? Sometimes, our responses to these challenges determine the outcomes. Other times, the choices that we provide are the determining factor. So, when challenges present themselves, do you launch into chaos mode or problem-solving mode? If we, as adults can reframe our thinking and launch into problem-solving mode, then we can reduce and work to eliminate the chaos mode that has a way of sneaking up on all of us.
Parenting of Little Ones During Your Cancer
Originally published by theawakenedmumma, shared here with permission.
HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS?
Parenting is one of the world’s most sort after and privileged roles. With no training manual, the role of parent comes with great responsibility and reward- and no sick leave. When you need a rest or a day off, your title of mum or dad continues. You are your child’s first love, their source of security, their ‘everything’... no pressure!
Parents often feel an immense societal pressure to be all things to all people, all of the time. Whether real, imagined, or self-imposed- it is a toxic culture. Parents please join together and give yourselves a well-deserved break from the perfectionism that modern parenting seems to require.
The Best for the Littlest
As a former classroom teacher, this was a true motto; which is also now relevant in my home life with two young children. The BIG question, how can we make our environment, their environment “even better”!? I like to review this question when big changes are on the horizon-maybe it’s a big change like a new school, a new skills set is being developed, a new routine needs to be implemented or tweaked, or even one of kiddos has outgrown something within the space. In this particular article, I want to focus on “Toilet Learning” by empowering children, present some logical situations to ponder, and some ways to recognize progress. I want to emphasize that readiness is NOT based on age, instead on skills and abilities.
Toilet Learning Inspiration
5 Ways to Empower Kiddos
5 Logistical Situations
5 Ways Recognize Progress
Ride the Wave
Every day, I find myself grateful for what I have at this time; knowing that time can change so much. Every one of us has experienced challenges, loss, change, and even heartache in the last year; some days more challenging than others and despite it all, a sense of hope to carry us through our most challenging moments. I reached out to licensed psychotherapist, mom, and author Christina Furnival to inquire about stress and the impacts that she is observing in children during this time, especially. Each day, requiring additional flexibility, understanding, and compromise, not just for our kiddos, but for us, as adults, too! How will you ride the next wave?
Like Never Before
It’s 9:01 p.m. and the kids are FINALLY asleep. I receive a text message and I respond immediately, but that’s the last thing I remember, as I suddenly hear my alarm blaring, it’s 6:45 a.m. I fell asleep in my daughter’s chair, again. These times are indeed hard. As parents, teachers, and those working with children; I get it, there’s an overall sense of utter exhaustion on every level. Perhaps, this feeling of being “overspent” by a never ending need to be flexible, adjust, and retool, but somehow meet all of the same typical needs and expectations, and then some is becoming quite the burden. It’s like driving a car on ice and attempting to remain in control, despite the tailspins. It’s HUMAN to feel this way and how we manage these emotions and concerns will make all the difference and it will be seen and felt through our efforts and our interactions with ourselves, our children, and others.
Breathe.
In challenging times, it is tension and anxiety from within that makes focusing, being purposeful, and mindful seem like an uphill battle. I use the phrase “challenging times” quite frequently, as I recognize the challenges that people experience will vary based upon their life experiences. In a previous article, Common Challenges*, I shared some specific truths: We all feel stress, but how we manage our stress and how it relates to our children can be a challenge. The children have plenty of needs and we have needs, too; AND expectations to meet. When you’re feeling challenged, ask yourself: What energy are you emulating? Our children take cues from us and the more consistent we can be about our responses and our daily routines, the better the outcomes for everyone! With the current times in mind, I reached out to Lauren Chelec Cafritz, an expert in Health and Wellness, and Breath work, for an interview.
Managing Challenging Behavior
Our children are watching us, even when we don’t realize or even when they say nothing, they see how we feel and react, the ways we treat ourselves and how we connect with others. They feel “our vibe” whether it’s positive, challenged, or somewhere in between. I will generalize when I say, so many of us are “in between” these days, trying to figure out what components of our day stay the same and what aspects need to change or which components are changing around us at this time (and seemingly “out of our control”). For some children and families, CHANGE CREATES THE CHALLENGE, so how can you carry the weight of the day and manage the challenging behavior that erupts, as changes roll on through? I interviewed Dr. Dan Shapiro, MD, a Developmental-Behavioral Pediatrician to discuss how to ride this wave, despite the rough waters. Perhaps, it isn’t about eliminating all outbursts, but how to learn to be proactive and reduce the severity of the reactions. Tune in to the YouTube interview or enjoy the interview highlights right here! Special thanks to Dr. Dan Shapiro for his time and commitment to helping families and children.
Persevere Through Challenging Times
Feeling overwhelmed and tired? YOU ARE NOT ALONE! While many of us are traveling and commuting far less, there seems to be so much work to complete - in our home lives, in our work lives, and in our childrens’ school lives. Have you asked yourself lately, what CAN my child do for himself? Then, ask yourself, what COULD my child do for himself? One of the most exhilarating components of Montessori theory and education is the focus on the process of learning and practicing specific skills with the goal of internalizing the concepts and thought processes practiced in order to be able to work through future challenges by utilizing previous knowledge - THE FOUNDATION!
Intervention and Inclusion
In all this time we’ve spent home and with our kiddos, perhaps you are noticing certain characteristics, behavior, and or development challenges. And, now that you’ve done some observations, you’re worried or curious and not sure what can be done with the information and concerns that you’ve collected. First, it may be worth a call to your child’s pediatrician to discuss. From there, if needed, numerous specialists exist that can help identify what type of exact issues may need to continue to be observed or addressed.
Parenting Today
Parenting is hard. There! I said it! Why is it this way, you may be wondering? The answer is “simple”, the kiddos have their own preferences, thoughts, and developing beliefs. And, on top of that, their ability to “reason” or understand the answers that are given and accept the answers; can be a challenge of its’ own. Imagine if the outbursts were shorter, the recoveries quicker, and the tears lessened!? Let’s zone in on the truths and give ourselves the grace we need and help the kiddos work through their challenges, too!
Make Your Way Through
One day, not that long ago, when my husband walked in the room and randomly said, “you’re the pandemic champion!”, I laughed and immediately said aloud, “why do you say that?” The back story, I used to be pretty inflexible. It wasn’t that I didn’t care, it’s that I used to be quite set in my ways because I felt the things I was doing worked and my non-negotiable priorities were different. With these changes, I’m not losing who I am, I am reframing what I need, in this time. I’m still the same person!
America 2020
WHAT CAN I DO!?
Teach my children about diversity, respect, and acceptance of all people
Vote
Sign petitions
Reach out to legislators and government officials to encourage change
Donate to organizations that support equality, equity, and justice
Volunteer with organizations that support diverse communities
Why Are the Classrooms Mixed Ages?
This component of a traditional primary Montessori classroom is by far the most interesting and beneficial component of the Montessori classroom experience, in my opinion. Children who are able to maintain their enrollment in a classroom, such as this for three years, have the opportunity to experience the classroom through numerous lenses. As a child grows and develops they naturally work towards developing specific skill sets and due to the incredible variety of activities, lessons, and materials available with in the Montessori classroom, the child’s experience in the classroom is different each year. The lessons that a child receives are based upon their interests and their abilities. Therefore, as a child learns and grows, they are provided with additional lessons to further support their development and interests. Lessons build upon one another and allow for children to inquire and explore, creating more meaningful, hands-on, and impressionable moments.
The Soundtrack of Life
I believe music can enhance all our lives and have made some suggestions here, as to how to provide musical experiences for your child in your home and everyday life. Recent research suggests that babies can not only hear sound at the prenatal stage, but may also have some memories after birth. A baby will turn their head towards a recognized voice. Music played during pregnancy can soothe a baby to sleep after they are born, suggesting that there is a memory of what they heard in the womb. I actually had this experience with one of my own sons!
Experiences are Valuable
Babies don’t come with manuals and just when we think we have “it all figured out”, those sweet little babies become toddlers and young children with ALLL the questions. People often wonder HOW do we answer their questions? What information do we provide? What is helpful? There’s also a debate about nature vs. nurture, but what if, it’s both!? You see, there is so much value in leading by example, however, environment matters, too and while children come into the world as they are, they are not born with biases and they don’t understand sarcasm! What offerings exist in a Montessori classroom and how do the materials and experiences support a child’s development in regards to awareness and acceptance?
Inviting Montessori Theory
Snapshot
Montessori education and experiences are framed by opportunities for independence, choice supported by freedom within limits, promotion of participation in the experiences within the environment, and available activities presented based upon the child’s needs and interests. With these components in place, each child is able to have a unique experience shaped around their individual needs; despite their presence in a classroom or family environment where other people have other wants and needs. The experience promotes joy and provides windows for power that lead to stronger relationships with adults and others.
Often times, in the “heat of the moment”, in all of our interactions, we FORGET to set the expectations and instead proceed to become increasingly frustrated (physically, emotionally, and or verbally) by our children’s “misbehaviors”. Believe me when I say, your child will RESPECT you if you stay true to yourself and voice your expectations (or preferences). When a child realizes they can “walk all over you,” they may lose respect for you, not value your opinion or expectations, and “act out” in an effort to further “get their way.” If the child realizes you mean what you say because you show that you are serious, then, they will likely decrease their “button pushing” behavior.
Facing Truth
As adults, we have experiences, beliefs, concerns, and awareness. For children, they are just developing these aspects of their thought processing and problem solving. From a very young age, children are able to sort and categorize information based upon basic characteristics. Often, the categorization they complete is unbiased and solely based in a general, “uneducated” manner. Not to say that our children are uneducated, but at times their conclusions are based in very little fact or with a lack of understanding. As children grow and learn, they further develop their ability to deepen their understanding of the outside world, their reasoning abilities increase, their problem-solving skills sharpen, and their ability to further understand other perspectives also improves. With all of this in mind, here are three common misconceptions that parents must face. These misconceptions speak to the insecurities within our children and within ourselves.
Unique Learning Environments
Montessori environments are UNIQUE because the curriculum supports the teachers’ ability to follow the child. Each child has their own individualized curriculum that is centered around the child’s abilities, capabilities, and interests. The 10 aspects that I’ve highlighted will provide a window into an authentic Montessori classroom. There are many more aspects of the classroom that may exist, however, these tend to be the most common components.
YOU Are NOT Alone
Others have experienced THE SAME feelings of self-doubt, confusion, being conflicted within, and stricken with guilt. The KEY is what support system do you have or can you create for yourself (and your family)? Usually, it would be a matter of surrounding yourself with people that support you; family, friends, and neighbors. It can be hard to ask for help and at times, difficult to accept help, even when it’s needed. Imagine, how can your family and friends support you and help, when help is needed? What changes do you need to consider making in your life to improve your relationship with your kiddos?
The Cry for Independence
Do you feel like you’re constantly “fighting” with your child? Disagreeing on everything or feeling the tugs of power struggles!? THIS is your child’s cry for power. WHAT can you do to turn over some power in a way that you can get behind and feel good about supporting?
3 Questions to Ask Yourself
What does my child actually want?
Is the request reasonable and available?
What alternatives can I reasonably offer?
It’s the first day, you are TRYING with allll of your might to keep it together; trying to be on time, trying to look put together, trying not to cry, and show your kiddos your most confident side (that you can muster after a broken nights’ sleep of less than 6 hours, ahem, and no coffee yet). The first childs’ school drop off: you hold your breath and it goes well, no tears all around for your first. Then, the (partially dreaded) 2nd school drop off, you know the one...you fear the child won’t need to pried-off-of-you-kind!? Ya feel me, keep reading, even if you’re not feeling like a hero for your kiddos in this moment.
Every day without fail, directly following breakfast, your son selects to play with play dough. You are ANNOYED, despite that he’s ready and willing to play happily and independently. Why are you annoyed? Likely because he has LOTS of other toys to play with and because he’s always making a mess with the play dough and then doesn’t bother to clean up afterwards. AMIRITE? Consider a few things: If you don’t want the child to engage in a specific activity, don’t make the activity readily available OR EXPLORE WHY the child is drawn to a specific activity AND what can be changed to encourage cleanup to be part of the process. Often times, it’s a matter of reframing what the child already knows and sharing it back to them (and usually) without judgement. It is also possible that the child does not understand that the play dough will become ruined and he may need to experience the natural consequence of seeing the play dough dried out and ruined to understand the importance of taking care of his toys or belongings. OR, maybe, this activity is a “default” activity for him because it’s “safe”, familiar, and doesn’t feel challenging. How can the activity be modified to spark his curiosity and further exploration? What if using play dough promoted hand strength, encouraged writing, and offered opportunities for counting activities. The play dough activity could be the beginning of so much learning, just imagine the possibilities!
Every child needs a Hero.
OUR most popular SOLUTIONS ARE READY FOR YOU!
Picture credit: Sergio Jaimes-Vigaray, The Rooted Parent Movement and Positive High ‘Ohana.
