Realities of Parenting
In the Throes of Pandemic Living 2022
Currently, the realities of parenting include the fact that in our homes, we have individuals that are still ineligible for vaccination. So, how can we reduce these feelings of “pandemic fatigue” and overcome the weight of the last 2 years? There is a population of families, especially those with children who were ineligible for vaccination until early December 2021 and those of us that had children shortly prior to the pandemic (and were not vaccinated while pregnant because the pandemic wasn’t a thing, yet) and those kiddos are still ineligible for vaccination, the pandemic NEVER ENDED for us…I know that some people felt that as soon as they personally were vaccinated, the pandemic was OVER, whether this is really true or not isn’t for me to say, but what I can say is that for those of us with (young) children, the pandemic NEVER ENDED, it just continued to wane on…and on…and on…When the local government lifted mask mandates inside, we kept wearing them…When they re-opened establishment for indoor dining and entertainment, we continued to stay away. And, when society seemed to emerge and everything started to re-open, our family protocol essentially remained the same, as was, since March/April 2020. Yep, that’s right…no bars, no sporting events, no concerts, no movie theaters, just our four walls, school (when it was open), barely stepping foot into anyone else’s home(s), and the fresh air; until January 2022. A pretty wild existence, in my opinion.
Risk Mitigation
Cautious living, I can summarize this approach in one word, exhausting. How can we manage the exhaustive nature of constantly being “on guard”? Is this ok? Is this safe? How safe is this? What is the risk? Is everyone wearing their masks properly? Are we wearing our masks properly? Is this mask “good enough”? Do we need “better” masks? Tighter masks? Masks with more layers? Is one mask enough? Are we giving other people enough space? Is that person smoking? Let’s cross the street…and the questions NEVER seem to end. Then, recently the word ENDEMIC started flying around and, in my world, the biggest realization of all came to light. THIS IS OUR LIFE. This is the “new normal” and if this is the new normal, then, as people, as parents, we are going to have to “move the goalposts,” reset our expectations and manage our mitigation differently. By resetting our expectations, we attempt to bring normalcy to what may have previously been atypical, peculiar, or even not necessary.
Reduce these Feelings of “Pandemic Fatigue”
Here are 10 ways to manage the realities of parenting and how we Reduce these feelings of “pandemic fatigue” to overcome the weight of the last 2 years. Check out 5 Ways to Manage Social and Emotional Challenges and 5 Ways to Manage Adult Sanity!
5 Ways to Manage Social and Emotional Challenges
Maintain Routines
Empower Choices
Promote Independence
Express Love in Overt Ways
Open the Lines of Communication
1.Maintain Routines
When the days seem long and the weeks, months, and years seem short, it’s hard to feel connected to each individual day. The way that I like to connect with each day it through anchoring the day with routines. This approach allows me to have some structure to the day, but also allows for the much-needed flexibility in between. I like to wake up at the same time (almost) each day; recognizing that weekends might have a different schedule. I also enjoy eating breakfast each day; however, what I eat for breakfast changes with the weather, literally. I also find that I enjoy making a fresh cup of coffee in the afternoons, before I start the midday pickup routine; which could be 2-hours from start to finish. Around the 3 p.m., I do my best to call my parents to see how their day is going. And, in the evenings, I like to put my pajamas on before I get the kiddos ready for bed because it sets the tone and I feel more comfortable.
What are the core routines that can be maintained in your life? How about in your kiddos’ lives?
2.Empower Choices
I love being able to confidently tell my kiddos “Yes!” Feels good, right!? By providing options that I feel are appropriate and doing my best to make those options available to be selected, I can do a better job of being able to confidently say: “Yes!” When I make sure that seasonally appropriate clothing options are available in the correct size (this is usually a big feat!), I open the door for “YES!” When I remove snack options that I don’t want available, I open another door for “YES!” and when I help the kiddos to organize their books and toys, I open countless doors for “Yes!” It does take a little time to get going and establish these norms in your home, but once you do – it feels GREAT!
What appropriate choices can we give our kiddos?
3.Promote Independence
If the child’s clothes, snacks, toys and books are “curated” and they are located in places the child can see and safely reach or obtain, then, the environment itself is promoting independence. My favorite request these days, “momma I’m hungry” and I can happily respond, “great, go choose something from the snack drawer.” THIS feels soooo much better than having to respond to the constant, never-ending, nagging repetitive, whining “I’m huuuuuuungry!” The only rule on snacks is, you can only have 1 of each type per day because we know that too much of any one thing can make our bellies ache. And, yes, at least once (ok twice) my son tested the limit on a few things, BUT, now he knows…
What can we modify in our environment(s) to help our kiddos safely obtain items for themselves? Or, complete parts of their routines without constant support?
4.Express Love in Overt Ways
When things are different (albeit stressful) sometimes we forget to express our love out loud – we’re too worried, too wrapped up, too stinkin’ tired, honestly. But here’s the thing, THESE are the moments when we should PILE ON THE LOVE. Why? It makes the kiddo feel special, it literally warms their heart. We used enthusiastic phrases like:
- “I love you!”
- “I love you sooooo much!”
- “Love you, sweetheart”
- “Ok, love!”
- “Thanks, buddy!”
- “Three extra kisses for you”
- “Do you want a hug?”
How will you express your love for these little ones?
5.Open the Lines of Communication
When we needed to quarantine at home, it took extra effort to make sure that everyone had what they needed. And, part of this effort involved offering information, even when not actually asked. When the pediatrician said 5 days of isolation, away from the family, I thought to myself and out loud a few times…HOW IS THIS GOING TO BE POSSIBLE? This cannot be good for one’s mental state…and, what are the long-term effects of “being alone” for this period of time? The solution – we masked up in the house and we offered opportunities for MORE communication:
- “Let me know if you have any questions.”
- “Let me know if you need anything.”
- “I’ll come back and check on you in a few minutes.”
- “I’ll come back and see if you need anything in a little while.”
- “In how many minutes should I come back and check on you?”
Here I was with my 6-year old answering questions like: “How does the vaccine help my body?” And, “How could my test come back positive if I don’t feel sick?” And, “How does wearing a mask keep our bodies safe?” And, “How can I keep my brother safe because he can’t be vaccinated, yet?” And, “Can I get you sick?” BIG questions for LITTLE minds. But, REAL answers helped to create understanding, acceptance, and calm.
You see the first day was hard for me, the adult. The second day was hard for the kiddo, but the subsequent days were ok because we had these open lines of communication and the other components listed above were in place.
What opportunities will you create to express that it’s ok for your kiddos to ask questions? Ask for help? Share your concerns?
5 Ways to Manage Adult Sanity
Identify your non-negotiables
Have a Schedule
Plant Something
Opportunities to Step Away
Pick a Hobby (or two)
1.Identify your non-negotiables
When I start to feel “lost” or overwhelmed, I make lists. I know, list-making isn’t for everyone, however, it can provide you with the guardrails to remain “grounded” or secure your footing, when things your typical way of being is in flux or feels different for any host of reasons.
Here’s some inspiration: What are the basics that you need? A certain range of hours of sleep, 6? 8? Do you prefer to eat snacks between meals? A certain type of water, tea or coffee? Are showers or baths your favorite? Fresh clothes by day and pajamas only by night? Whatever your preferences are, WRITE THEM DOWN. I know, this might sound ridiculous, but here’s the thing, if you have preferences and you write them down, you have a greater likelihood of honoring them, because you’ve brought them “to life.”
2.Have a Schedule
STORY Similar to the non-negotiables and the routines that were mentioned above, having a general schedule helps to provide some consistency in times that may be inconsistent or unpredictable. While it is important to recognize that some flexibility may need to exist, having a general schedule can help to “move things along.” For example, breakfast can still be finished by 8 a.m. and dinner will still be ready by 6 p.m. And, bedtime prep can still begin at 8 p.m., even if there are family members in quarantine and even if the kiddos are not going leaving the house to school to school, they can still plan to get ready for the day. Having these expectations in place helps everyone feel inclinations of “normal.”
Here’s some inspiration: What should we have for breakfast this morning, buttered toast and some fruit and cheese? Oatmeal with cinnamon and some yogurt? And, for kiddos in quarantine, “Be sure to get dressed and ready and I’ll bring your breakfast to your room.” And, for bedtime, “It’s almost time to get ready for bed, be sure to use the bathroom, brush your teeth, and find your cozy pajamas. In 5 minutes, I’ll be by to read you a story.”
3.Plant Something
Green thumb? Who, me!? I never thought of myself as someone that was into planting “things,” but apparently, the pandemic has brought out the REAL green thumb in me…and, here we are with our own little balcony garden and a few things growing inside, too. There is something so lovely about watching this growth happen “before my eyes.” And, when monotony and repetition are the name of the game, growing something green feels FRESH! And, sometimes, you’ll even grow something that you can consume and using these fresh ingredients in a recipe is also good fun in these odd times. Previously, we grew peppers, mint, basil, sage, rosemary, tomatoes, carrot greens, a single brussels sprout (as a test), and some romaine lettuce (also, as a test), and a potato. Indoors, we currently have a single potato that has sprouted in five ways and three beet tops because growing beet greens is super easy and takes yummy, when added to other dishes including cooked spinach or cold salads.
Here’s some inspiration: How? Chop of the tops of carrots, beets, onions, chives, garlic greens, cabbage, lettuce, brussels sprouts, or even s sprouting potato, etc. Set those in a flat dish or plan with a little water and watch them grow, grow, grow! The kiddos may even find some joy in sharing their observations!
4.Opportunities to Step Away
Feeling overworked? Exhausted? Burnt out? Yes. Yes. AND, you guessed it….YES! Same here, same. BUUUUUT if we learn to MAKE TIME to step away we can reduce these feelings of “pandemic fatigue” or whatever the media is calling it now. And, no, I’m not calling it “self- care,” but some people might and I have before and that’s fine, too!
Here’s some inspiration: Go on a walk. Grab a cup of coffee and sit outside in the fresh air. Sit on the balcony with a good book. Listen to your favorite music. Meet a friend for lunch or run some errands together. Take a phone call in the car to catch up with an old friend.
5.Pick a Hobby (or two)
When we feel stuck, sometimes, feeding our interests can spark some positivity, in that it encourages our brain to think differently – or, as least THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE! This in and of itself is REFRESHING. When we spend so much time thinking about THE SAME things and doing THE SAME things all of the time, our mind, body, and spirit gets SICK OF IT. Form new pathways in the brain, try thinking about something different.
Here’s some inspiration: Try new recipes, learn to knit or crochet, work on puzzle books or coloring books, start reading a book series, join a book club, join a fitness class or club (online or in person), go hiking, or whatever else suits you…learn to play an instrument, practice playing a sport, or even learn a new language.
Beyond These Four Walls
We went on vacation (and were “super-duper” cautious), but regardless, days after we returned, one of the kiddos tested positive for the virus, but even 2 years into this experience, we are all still learning. Here’s the thing – the child tested negative on a rapid antigen test, so we thought – good to go about the day! But, here’s the thing – the results from the PCR test that came back the next day popped up positive. So, we immediately retested on a rapid antigen tests and it was STILL negative. So, apparently, if your child is asymptomatic and their viral load is low enough, they will test NEGATIVE on a rapid antigen test, BUT can still test POSITIVE on a PCR test for up to 90 days from exposure/ onset. Resources linked below. SO…when did our child have COVID? What I can say is, it’s actually possible that the virus was already in the child’s system weeks before we travelled, it’s unclear. When was or is this child contagious? Also, unclear. Perhaps, if the child is negative on a rapid antigen test, they are no longer technically still contagious, BUT, the school system follows the 10-day rule, so, home the child stays. After 5-days of quarantining in their room, the child can emerge, but needs to wear a mask; however, the child doesn’t want to “mask in the house,” so we respect the preference with the (sad and frustrating) alternative, then, you’ll have to remain in your room (I literally made the loudest UGH sound without my child hearing). Power, the child wants power. I get it and I’m not going to engage in this power struggle. When the child is ready to emerge, they will emerge. Now, for the other child at home that is unvaccinated (due to age-related ineligibility), what is the likelihood this child will have an issue? Unclear because exposure is exposure and if the other child is PCR positive than maybe the child is contagious, maybe not. It’s a waiting game. So, in the meanwhile, I’ll be masked with the little guy, while everyone else in the house isolates in their own rooms. Wishing you luck from quarantine. Excuse me, while I go purchase a few more masks, to see which ones cover these kiddos noses best. Sending strength, power, and patience to each and every one of you. We are truly in this together.
Home Day Hero can HELP YOU Create Routines, Identify Choices, and Promote Independence in your own home! Let’s manage the realities of parenting and reduce these feelings of “pandemic fatigue” to overcome the weight of the last 2 years. Limited Coaching opportunities available.
Secure your spot BEFORE THEY ARE GONE! Hop on my schedule.
While I recognize this song is NOT about a pandemic, this song, one of my favorites from 2000 (I know, I’m aging myself, that’s ok!), this song really resonates with me RIGHT now. Maybe you’ve heard this song before and it will resonate with you, as well. Maybe, you’ve never heard this one before, give it a listen.
Win by Brian McKnight
“Dark is the night
I can weather the storm
Never say die
I've been down this road before
I'll never quit
I'll never lay down, mm
See I promised myself that I'd never let me down
I'll never give up
Never give in
Never let a ray of doubt slip in
And if I fall
I'll never fail
I'll just get up and try again
Never lose hope
Never lose faith
There's much too much at stake
Upon myself I must depend
I'm not looking for place or show
I'm gonna win
No stopping now
There's still a ways to go, oh
Someway, somehow
Whatever it takes, I know
I'll never quit, no no
I'll never go down, mm, mm
I'll make sure they remember my name
A hundred years from now
I'll never give up
Never give in
Never let a ray of doubt slip in
And if I fall
I'll never fail
I'll just get up and try again
Never lose hope
Never lose faith
There's much too much at stake
Upon myself I must depend
I'm not looking for place or show
I'm gonna win
When it's all said and done
My once in a lifetime will be back again
Now is the time
To take a stand
Here is my chance
That's why I
I'll never give up
Never give in
Never let a ray of doubt slip in
And if I fall
I'll never fail
I'll just get up and try again
Never lose hope
Never lose faith
There's much too much at stake
Upon myself I must depend
I'm not looking for place or show
I'm gonna win
Mm, I'm gonna win”
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Brian Kelly Mcknight / Michael Brandon Barnes
Win lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Fox Music, Inc
Men of Honor, 2000.
For official information on Covid-19, please go to the Center for Disease Control website
https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-nCoV/
A few additional helpful resources:
“Omicron is exploding. Here’s what to do if you’ve been exposed.”
January 11, 2022 by Sigal Samuel.
“CDC updates guidance on the best masks to protect against Covid-19”
January 14, 2022 by Sara Cook, Ellen Uchimiya, Paula Cohen
Home Day Hero can HELP YOU Create Routines, Identify Choices, and Promote Independence in your own home! ! Let’s manage the realities of parenting and reduce these feelings of “pandemic fatigue” to overcome the weight of the last 2 years. Limited Coaching opportunities available.